Never Trust Anyone in Meat-themed Clothing...

Hey Lady Gaga! How about we don't play a Love Game! Sound good? And while you're at it, can you like... get changed? Most people wear clothing, and last time I checked, meat was food. Kay? Thanks.

Hope my biting, bitter sarcasm wasn't too much there. I'm usually a very sweet person. ^_^ Methinks so, at the least.

Anyways. Today's post is about (you guessed it) LOVE!!! Of course, I could go on and on and on about this, but I'm gonna focus on a single issue. And it goes by the name of FLIRTING. Yeah. Goooood times, right? Okay class, let's begin!

So flirting has been an issue for several of my friends right now, and I feel like it needs to be addressed. And my BFF/big sister Janine has already written an amazing post on true love, which contains some text on flirting, which I'm totally in favor of you checking out! (http://www.janineminichini.blogspot.com/ If you're interested.) She really got me thinking about the flirting thing, mainly because of the way it was worded.

Before I get too deep into this, just a head's up: I'm a Catholic Christian. I believe in chastity. And I believe in respecting human dignity. So if you have an issue with any of the above, you might want to hold onto your hat. (And if you're wearing a particularly trendy hat, you may want to send me one. Because I am a major fan of British/Irish lookin' things, so if you have one...) I'm sharing my opinion and hoping that you, the reader, will be able to either relate or learn something from it. GO AMERICA! WOOT, FREEDOM OF SPEECH! YEAH! *sigh* I love Constitutional rights.

Flirting. What is it? Here's what Dictionary.com says...

1. to court triflingly or act amorously without serious intentions; play at love; coquet.
2. to trifle or toy, as with an idea: She flirted with the notion of buying a sports car.
3. to move with a jerk or jerks; dart about: butterflies flirting from flower to flower.

So you're either a) acting in a manner that suggests you are attracted to a person but have no serious intentions, b) toying with someone or an idea, or c) jerking back and forth like a spaz. I am going to assume that most of you selected either 'a' or 'b'; if you chose 'c', I would recommend a visit to your doctor. Now that we have definined what is means to flirt, let's ask the big questions...

Is there anything right or wrong with flirting? After all, people do it all the time.
Yes and no. There is nothing wrong with letting someone know you're interested. And naturally, when you are attracted to a person, you behave in a certain manner. I highly doubt that you chew with your mouth open around someone you think is cute. (Because that would just be weird...) The problem is when we reduce someone to an object for our sensual and sexual pleasure. I'm not saying you're sleeping with this person, or that you're making out, or anything like that. But flirting is a problem when you use it for any of the following:

- For the sole purpose of boosting your confidence. (When I'm with him, he makes me feel good about myself.)

- As an outlet for sexual desires and pleasures. (I feel like I have butterflies in my stomach whenever we touch.)

- One does not recognize the human dignity of the other person. (I don't plan on dating her, but she's cute and I don't see anything wrong with flirting with her. Doesn't she realize I don't want to get in a relationship?)

- Have ulterior motives. (I want to get on her good side, because I want ___.)

- Are purposefully using someone 'for the fun of it'. (Can you believe I convinced him that I would consider dating him? Unbelievable.)

These are just a few examples and a few possible motives one might have for flirting.

I'm honestly interested in him/her. What's wrong with flirting?
Nothing... and everything. If you find that you fall into any of the categories above, you might have a problem. Because here's the thing about love...

IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU. IT'S ABOUT THE OTHER PERSON. YOU MUST GIVE LOVE IF YOU EVER HOPE TO RECEIVE IT.

Hard to wrap your mind around, especially in today's day and age. There is nothing wrong with talking with someone you're interested in, or doing something nice for them. But of course, there are wrong ways to flirt.

Wrong ways? Right ways? What do you mean?
Take a look at this.

~ Physical Contact
* Right Way - You're good friends, or at least you've known each other for awhile now. He says goodbye, you give each other a quick hug, and you leave. You hang around one another but do not invade anyone's personal space.
* Wrong Way - You are constantly hugging, holding hands, or even exchanging more serious gestures, even though you are not committed to a relationship. One of you, or both of you, are perfectly comfortable with being extremely close to the other.

~ Talking (In Person)
* Right Way - You get to know each other. Sometimes you playfully tease each other, but that's it. You're interested in his/her day, you want to know his/her interests, and you exchange stories. You are more often than not in a group.
* Wrong Way - You're more interested in flirting than getting to know each other. You are constantly exchanging banter. It is not uncommon for one of you to hint towards sex or sexual pleasures. You are often alone, which sometimes leads to more physical contact.

~ Talking (via Internet, phone, etc.)
* Right Way - As mentioned before, you get to know each other. You have a back-and-forth conversation that is free of any inappropriate content. You learn more about the other person and share things about yourself.
* Wrong Way - You discuss inappropriate things, such as sex, drugs, alcohol, etc. You use this as an opportunity to put other people down and/or gossip. You purposefully drop names or say something that you hope will make the other jealous or have a response. You have no intentions of leading the conversation anywhere besides teasing one another, since you plan on dumping him/her in the future anyhow, since you are more preoccupied with what you're feeling than the person.

Of course, there's probably a million other ways to flirt. But the main idea is that you must recognize that he/she is a person with human dignity, and deserves respect. Using people for your own gain is not fair to you or the other person.

What do you mean by 'human dignity'? Why is this important? And don't my feelings still matter?
Obviously, the good Lord gave you your emotions for a reason. Sometimes they can be a stumbling block, but they often enable us to make good decisions and develop as people. Your feelings do matter. If you aren't attracted to a person, you obviously should not be in a relationship/attempting a relationship with this person. HOWEVER, within the sacrament of marriage or in a serious relationship, you may not always feel 'happy' around your significant other. This is NORMAL. We often become frustrated with our families and friends. Surely we are not as enthralled with their presence as we were when they were new friends, or when our families are getting on our nerves. But within the sacrament of marriage, you and your spouse have been united in the eyes of Christ, and that is not something that can be reversed. However, outside of marriage, it is natural for couples to get together and to break up. While emotions are important indicators, it is key that we recognize that LOVE IS NOT AN EMOTION. And sometimes, you need to love someone to do what's best for them, although it seems inconvenient or upsetting to you.

As we are all made in the image of God, we all have human dignity. We are priceless. We are children of God. We are princes and princesses, heirs to the throne. We are soldiers on the battle field, fighting for Christ (and sometimes, dealing with the battle within). Jesus died on a cross not just for you, but for everyone, and that includes the person you might be flirting with! Remember that Christ is inside him/her next time you see them or speak with them. Remember that it is essential that you respect their dignity and encourage them to respect their own.

"And you said, 'I know that this will hurt, but if I don't break your heart, then things will just get worse. If the burden seems too much to bear, remember the end will justify the pain it took to get us there.' " ~ Relient K, 'Let It All Out'

Yeah, I've been enjoying my sister's new Relient K CD. Got a problem with that? *balls fists* I didn't think so. I threw that last quote in there to give you something to think about. Sometimes, the things in life hurt. But we often have to do things that are painful in order to help someone else. For some, that means backing away from inappropriate flirting, not only for their sake, but for the sake of their interest(s). I am very fond of those lyrics and thought they were worth sharing.

On that note, I should have been in bed ages ago. Good night, Blog-o-sphere.